Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
