brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
