Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
