I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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