he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
