his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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