End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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