I could have mohawked her pubes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
