I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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