If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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