I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Operation Purity has been aborted
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
