Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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