he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
