I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
