you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
