Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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