It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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