shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
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Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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