omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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