i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
