im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize