Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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