We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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