we have officially lost it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
