So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize