hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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