Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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