he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize