There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
