Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
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two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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