We're facebook friends in real life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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