I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize