I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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