I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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