I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
