talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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