Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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