is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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