Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
