I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
