It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
