ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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