she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
