i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
