am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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