Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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