Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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