I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
