I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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