Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
