I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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