Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
