I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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