Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize