remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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