I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
