the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
