did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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