tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
