i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
And then he peed in my hair
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
