Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
