just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
