4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
