The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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