is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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