How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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