what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
