He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
