that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize